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Recognize what parts of your life are not working and decide to make a change.
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Wayne Dyer (1940-) Self-Help Advocate, teacher and author.
Human nature tells us to keep on pushing on; run faster, do more, never give up, keep going, push, and push some more. One day you wake up and realize that the more you push the worse it gets. The paradox is that the harder we push the more resistance we encounter. We all know the definition of insanity is “to keep on doing the same thing, expecting a different result.
If life overall or part of your life is not working, take the time to stop and assess if it is time to do something different. It is time to stop pretending, stop pushing, and stop trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. Once you stop and analyze the situation you will realize there are many options available to you and at least one of them is worth a try.
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Either alone or with a partner, family member, friend or professional, write, discuss, and share what is no longer working. Following are some questions to talk about:
1. Identify what is no longer working for you (and your family or partner).
- What about your life is no longer working? Is it a part of your life or the whole package?
- What about your life is working well?
- What is it you want to stop doing/do more of/ less of/differently?
In our journey we soon came to the realization that being older parents of a newborn with two full-time professional all consuming careers and high expenses we had accumulated to make our life work, was leading to depression, unhappiness, and exhaustion.
What was working was our love for each other and sense of adventure. We felt a passion for doing something new and had the courage to take a risk.
2. Get clear on what you dream of doing differently
- What is missing in your life that you want to create?
- What are you fed-up or done with?
- How would you know you have achieved the dream you want? How would you measure success?
- Will the choice move you towards creating the life you want to live or keep you stuck in the past?
- Will the choice bring you long term gratification or just short term satisfaction?
- Is the dream something you should do and something that empowers you?
- What is calling you?
After a great deal of soul searching, we became clear that we wanted to take time of and live in a different culture, travel the world and experience a simpler life together as a family. Beyond that, we weren’t sure what we wanted to do.
3. Giving up fears, limiting beliefs and shoulds.
- What fears are you going to have to walk through to create what you want? Are you willing?
- What limiting beliefs are you going to have to change or manage to make a shift happen?
- What “shoulds” will you have to eliminate in your thinking? Are you willing to replace them with your dreams and desires?
Many fears popped up for one of us as we made plans; fear of not having money, not having work, and leaving what we knew. Every time they surfaced we dealt with them and put them in their place. They were simply fears that needed to be dealt with to move forward in life.
Learn about what it takes to make changes in your life.
Read books, listen to audio recordings and watch motivational programs that will inspire you on your journey. Surround yourself with supporters and eliminate the negative ones.
A couple of our favorite books and CDs are:
- Your Heart’s Desire, Using the laws of Manifestation to Create the Life you Really Want, by Sonia Choquette – a sixth sensory look at how to create what you want in life.
- Transitions, by William Bridges. A small classic on what happens as you go through a transition.
- Personal Power and Awakening the Giant by Tony Robbins. We have listened to the Personal Power CDs over and over again.
Suzanne Saxe-Roux, Ed.D.
Building leaders and profitable businesses while living balanced lives. Certified Executive Coach, Author and Speaker, Consultant, and Facilitator.
The Beauty of Affliction
Ever heard the term, “turn a positive out of a negative”? I have. It is with this same sense that I write this blog I call, “The Beauty of Affliction.” 
Just think, without affliction, we may not have ever had our current USA President, Mr. Obama. So moved by the distressed world conditions that it caused him to place his name on the presidential ballot. Because of injustices and afflictions amongst classes of people, Dr. Martin Luther Luther King Jr. was provoked to civil rights work to help bring about equality. Just think, without affliction the world may not ever have heard of a Helen Keller, nor would we have the diary of a young girl named Anne Frank.
Though unfortunate, it is at the expense of their affliction, pain, hurt, grief and distressing situations that caused great gains in varied ways on behalf of others. Without the afflictions and complexities surrounding the lives and circumstances of these individuals, chances are you may not be reading about them on this page today.
Additionally, scripture denotes another famous person who was a son of Jesse, named David, who drifted astray from the commands of his Heavenly Father. But because his Father loved him so much, he used trouble to draw him back, close to himself. Yes, he allowed affliction to come upon David, one in whom he loved so much. God had a great plan for his life. In other words, there was a “big-picture.”
Scripture further tells us that at one point David (the King) wrote, “before I was afflicted I went astray, but now have I kept thy word.” Then just four verses down he adds, “it was good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your ways.” Now I tell ya, the affects of trouble doesn’t get more beautiful than this.
Psalm 119:67, 71
Jeremiah 29:11 “…thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you an expected end.”
Genesis: 41 Joseph moves from imprisonment to the palace
Linda Johnson Belfrey has 14-years of radio experience working in faith-based broadcast ministry including, JFM LIVE, www.jfmlive.com. Additional media ministries include her cable market telecast, Reaching a People, by Any Means Necessary and A Word for You print news media inspirationals.
Email inquires to: Johnsonbelfrey@aol.com
Website: www.ljbelfreyministries.com
This blogger is on Twitter: twitter.com/ljohnsonbelfrey
Being Great vs. Killing Yourself: Do you know the difference?
The theme for my coaching this week was: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Yet you might not know you chose a path of greatness over enjoyment until you are in pain or numbed out by meaningless stress.
The topic first emerged when I woke up Tuesday with excruciating back pain. After reviewing my previous day, I realized that my pain was due to my over- zealousness in exercise class. I was the only one who could do a complicated abdominal exercise. As soon as I realized everyone was watching me, I pumped out an extra set with vigor. They cheered. I loved the attention.
Then my back trumped my ego by making it tough to get out of bed the next day. I humbly waddled through the next few days.
This theme came up three times this week in coaching sessions. From differentiating a business focus to choosing to leave a job, the question came up: should I choose what I am good at or focus on what brings me joy? Also, when people tell me I am good at something, do I take on more work just to to get the applause (or money, promotions, etc)?
It is difficult to quiet our reward-seeking brain to hear the answers to the questions: What do I really want for myself? Am I killing myself at the expense of my happiness? Even though I am good at something, do I enjoy doing it? What do I neglect that is truly missing for me?
If you are feeling numb, joyless, overworked or achy, it’s time to re-assess how you spend your time and energy. Adding a little more joy in and decreasing your tendency to show off will have a huge payoff in the long run for your health, happiness and even your success.
Think about these questions. Comment here. And please, don’t break your back for a moment’s applause.
Marcia Reynolds, PsyD is a master certified coach and author of Outsmart Your Brain and the upcoming Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women find Contentment and Direction. Visit her new site at www.WanderWomanBook.com for excerpts and news about her new book.
But, I want it now!
Many of us have witnessed little children who almost always want things now! Funny thing is that as adults our attitudes as it relates to this haven’t changed much. We still want it our way or the highway, and now!
We want our small business to grow large, now. We want the job promotion, now. We want our tiny children to grow-up, now. We even have the urge to tell the boss off, now.
It would do us good to become cognizant of the importance of time. Did you know that over 20 times in eight verses the wisest man that ever lived instruct’s us of the appropriate “timings” in which to: speak, be silent, laugh, mourn, to build, as well as to restructure, or to tear-down?
Though she desired it to be much earlier, you may recall Sarah, though 90-year’s old birthed her infant baby Isaac, at the perfect (set) time.
I want to admonish you that life, what we want, and when we want it involves “the process of important and divine timing.” In your lust to “want it now,” strive to become sensitive and keenly aware as to what time it is.
Ref.: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Linda Johnson Belfrey has 14-years of radio experience working in faith-based broadcast ministry including, JFM LIVE, www.jfmlive.com. Additional media ministries include her cable market telecast, Reaching a People, by Any Means Necessary and A Word for You print news media inspirationals.
Email inquires to: Johnsonbelfrey@aol.com
Website: www.ljbelfreyministries.com
This blogger is on Twitter at: twitter.com/ljohnsonbelfrey
The Social Credit Crisis Solution – Microfinancing
February 5, 2010
2010 Canadian Wide Winner Small Business Credit Challenge – Solution – Microfinancing
Lana Larder of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada is inspired by the success of micro financing success stories around the world. Larder has developed a microfinancing plan for Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Larder is dedicated to microfinancing to meet Halifax, Nova Scotia’s business needs and the current gaps improving business opportunities for marginalized individuals and/or businesses in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Microfinancing is an alternative solution for entrepreneurs. It is usually targeted towards women because they typically have a harder time to access credit. Microfinancing can provide financing, credit building and business training and usually supports disadvantaged groups or individuals that seek capital for business start-ups and/or working capital for growth.
Microfinancing is predicted on the belief that access to affordable capital can play a critical role in unleashing the entrepreneurial capacity of individuals and/or business owners that can not access capital. Thereby raising each borrower’s standard of living and bettering the community.
There is a tremendous need for microfinancing services. In fact, two thirds of the world’s population are not serviced by big financial institutions.
Microfinancing is typically for individuals and/or businesses that have no credit score and/or suffer from poor credit, effectively shutting them out of the mainstream financial system. As a result, the disadvantaged rely on fringe and predatory financial services.
In Halifax, a poverty rate of approximately 18.1 % (concentrated among women, children and minorities) and 30,000 children living in poverty force families to seek additional streams of revenue by opening a businesses.
Microfinancing services will enable disadvantaged groups or individuals to 1) start and/or expand businesses through affordable loans, 2) access services such as business and financial literacy training, 3) build credit history through successful loan repayments. Currently there are few places for entrepreneurs to turn to for financing and even less now with the recent worldwide credit crisis.
Microfinancing services typically partner with government, non-profits and community partners so when clients apply to access microfinancing there is a good sense of the borrower’s character before a loan application is even filled out. Finally, the partners offer services that clients require to succeed.
Microfinancing offers affordable, flexible loans. Through research, focus groups and conversations with individuals and businesses there is a strong demand for these type of loans.
The recent economic downturn and financial crisis have underscored the need for access to affordable capital. Microfinancing serves a critical need for communities,and creates a paradigm shift in thinking about the importance of access to equitable financial services.
Microfinancing provides opportunities for economically marginalized individuals and companies creating pathways out of poverty to economic self-reliance. Microfinancing is an economic and social change agent. The benefits of these investments lead to long term and community wide benefits creating a healthier and progressive city, province or Country..
Short term investment for large, long-term savings….
The Hidden Jewel
How many of us have misplaced a diamond bracelet or misplaced our favorite gold earrings? Because of their high value we frantically search for weeks on end to locate our prized and hidden possessions.
Did you know that scripture tell us that she, wisdom, is more valuable than our prized silver and gold? So much so that even King Solomon dared to ask for the power of wisdom (over even money—imagine that!) so that he could judge matters accurately and discern right from wrong.
Have ever considered that wisdom has the ability to “get you places” that even beauty or talent cannot necessary take you?
It’s recorded that “the whole world sought audience with Solomon to merely just hear the wisdom that had been placed in his heart by his heavenly father.” Imagine that! They did not come to hear him sing, dance, to give a speech, to do tricks, or to act, but to witness his “heart of wisdom.” Wow!
While the whole world competes to acquire wealth, beauty, power, strength, intelligence and prestige. The precious, valuable, beautiful, shiny and most highly appraised biblical jewel called wisdom lies hidden, just waiting to be embraced and asked for.
Linda Johnson Belfrey has 14-years of radio experience working in faith-based broadcast ministry, www.jfmlive.com. Additional media ministries include her cable market telecast, Reaching a People, by Any Means Necessary and A Word for You print news media inspirationals. For inquiries email her at: Johnsonbelfrey@aol.com
Website: www.ljbelfreyministries.com
Anybody want to live a long life? It’s possible!
It’s a terrible thing to have your destiny aborted here on earth. Goals, dreams and potential many times cut-off at 17, 24, and 30 years old. A king named David cautioned his son to “hear and receive instruction and to allow his heart to retain his words.” His son was further urged to “avoid the way of evil men, to turn from it.”
Anybody want to live a long life? It’s possible. Though conditional, it is possible. Proverbs quotes that a “long and satisfying life” is feasible on the condition that in this case “the son does not deviate from his father’s teaching.”
The fathers in Proverbs give instruction on many matters: discipline, understanding, wisdom, trust in the Lord, sound judgment, and much more. They spell-out what to do, what not to do, how to do, and what to avoid. Many times lives are aborted, potential wasted, mind’s twisted, and we go on self-led journeys. Why? Simply put, we’ve deviated from the instructions of our heavenly father.
Linda Johnson Belfrey
Email: Johnsonbelfrey@aol.com
Website: http://www.ljbelfreyministries.com
http://www.jfmlive.com
A world of Discovery
Looking back I wish that someone had taken the time to sit down with me and show me there was a world of discovery beyond the bottom corner of Belmont Avenue. A three dimensional chat involving the mind body and spirit which would inspire and uplift and take off the restrictions of what I perceived possible for my life and which career path i could choose.
The fifties were a time of both freedom and structure. As a kid I could play in the street or go to the park by myself, even travel on the train aged 8 to meet my father in London – shock horreur – couldn’t do it now but this freedom came with some strange rules. No eating food in the street – including ice creams, don’t speak unless spoken to and certainly do not ask for anything for yourself and be nice to everyone.
These were the funny restrictive beliefs of my family , with grandparents who belonged in the Victorian age and had a certain dislike of anything which involved chatting with or playing with children. Children belonged outside or in their rooms. Those cold icy places with counterpanes as thick as mattresses, a little radio, a shelf of books and a onebar electric fire to be used on days when the ice was on the inside of the windows.No wonder I trained as a therapist in order to get rid of this madness of passivity and blow in fresh air.
If I had had a fairy godmother, then she would have helped me to see that I could find a pathway through the thorns and brambles and stayed by my side whilst I went on my journey. She would have informed, encouraged, motivated and at times where needed, waved her magic wand.
So thats what I do, I help you blow fresh air into your life, dust out the cobwebs, polish up your Aladdin’s lamp and let out the genie and with a sprnkle of stardust – off you go.
So, the New Year is in sight and in this blog over the next month I’ll give you some tips as to how to make your resolutions work like magic so you can become who you were meant to be rather than the result of your family beliefs.
Don’t Stay Comfortable – Go for Greatness
I acknowledge my elders who have gone before me to clear the path I walk today. Some days I wonder why me!
No one ever achieved greatness by staying comfortable. We all have a comfort zone we love being in. It’s nice and safe and we rein supreme. The only problem with it is that to grow and learn and achieve our potential and all that we can become, we have to step outside that comfort zone and push ourselves.
Our bodies are so amazing. I’m not sure if you have ever stopped and thought about it, and maybe I have too much time on my hands, but I have thought about it a lot lately and I’ve figured out something pretty amazing.
Whenever you get uncomfortable and do something that pushes you into that uncomfortable zone, your body compensates you for it. Think about it for a minute.
You undertake a new exercise routine, or you step up into a higher position at work, or you try an activity that you haven’t done before, you get really nervous and it feels pretty uncomfortable. But after you have completed the activity that made you nervous, your body releases a chemical called endorphins and it makes you feel better.
It’s like your body says congratulations, you have made the next step, and because of that, you are now not only able to undertake the task you attempted, but you also get a little feeling of being high and happy, and you feel great about yourself. That’s pretty amazing.
Now I don’t know about you, but I think that we sometimes stay far too long in that comfort zone and we don’t even bother trying to attempt something new. We as a people have overcome so many adversities, we are living proof of what we can achieve when we have to. Imagine what we could achieve if we jumped before we were pushed? How often would we get that great feeling of endorphins in our blood?
It is well documented that if you don’t move when you are suppose to, the universe, or God or the old people, or the fairies, or whatever you believe, will push you and they will move you to where you need to be.
Sometimes we hold onto the very thing that “they” are trying to move us away from. Why is that? Why are we so afraid to stretch ourselves and grow?
So many people stay in jobs they hate, or in relationships that aren’t healthy, but what is the alternative? You need to ask yourself is it worth trading your life for because that is what you are doing. Every day that you go to a job that you hate, you are trading a piece of your life for that job. Or you are trading a piece of your life for that pay cheque at the end of the week. Is it worth it?
So what are your options? You could stay where you are, unhappy and dissatisfied with life, or you can get uncomfortable, move, change or do something different. What is your life and happiness worth to you?
It is my belief that the quality of your life is determined by the questions you ask yourself, and the honest answers you give. If your not happy, then ask why, and then do something about it.
I know what that uncomfortable feeling is like. It’s pretty much been my whole life. I’ve stayed in jobs I hated just for the money. Each day a little piece of my soul was lost, and the light went out a little more in my eyes. I was so unhappy.
So I got really uncomfortable and made a change.
In some areas of my life, I didn’t make the change, I was pushed. My old people knew what was right for me before I did. And even though I dug my heels in thinking I knew best. They wouldn’t take no for an answer. So they pushed me. And I’m thankful everyday.
On the days when I don’t think I have the strength to follow my dreams, or when things are pretty tough, I talk to them. I tell them how I feel and it always seems better. I know they have more wisdom than I do. I’m not that arrogant to think that I know it all. I could be here for a few lifetimes and still not know as much as they do.
We are a spiritual race of people, then why don’t we call on that spirit when we need it most. Our connection to our culture and country isn’t there for lip service. Or maybe for some people it is. But not for me and my family.
I’m so proud to call on my people to help me through. My aunties who walk with me everyday and help me when it is really time for me to step out of my comfort zone and take a leap that I really don’t want to take. Or when I want to but I’m really afraid.
But as I said at the beginning, no one ever achieved greatness by staying comfortable. And I’m not talking about greatness in terms of taking over the world – unless that is your dream, in which case, go for it!!
Your greatness may be the kind words you say to your kids, or stepping up for that job you really wanted to apply for but didn’t think you could even throw your hat in the ring for, let alone win. It’s about what greatness is to you. It’s what makes your heart smile.
Trust me, when your heart smiles, it not just yours alone, it’s the hearts of our ancestors rejoicing in their strength that comes through you.
There are no failures, only experiences you learn from.
Don’t sit on the sidelines of life because you are afraid of being out of your comfort zone. We have been spectators for too long now. Your life is happening to you whether you are aware of it or not. You might as well do what makes you happy and grow and learn in the process.
Why? Because you are so worth it!
Karen Demmery is a Coach, Writer, Author and woman who wants to assist women to become remarkable again.
www.karendemmery.com.au
Stop looking and Start to Focus
I’ve been floating around for a while trying to figure out what i was doing with my life. I wasn’t really unhappy but at the same time, i really didn’t have any passion or purpose to my days. I just kind of 
existed. Then when someone made the comment that i looked like i was disconnected and that got me thinking. Have i really become disconnected and lost my way, not only with my business but with my life in general?
It was true, i had become disconnected. I had lost my focus. I had started to spend so much time on everyone else that i had lost myself in their needs not my own. When i realised it, the light came on and i knew that i was going to be ok and that it won’t take long to refocus and regain my passion and purpose.
It really is so easy to become lost. We are so many things to so many people and before we know it, we are no where in sight. Our needs get forgotten in the daily grind of car pools, lunches, homework, housework, being wife, mother, sister, friend and employee.
But it can be easier than you think to get back on track, for your own sake. Stop, look at where you are and focus on what you need right now. You cannot get what you can’t identify. You have to be able to name it before you claim it.
Start today by focusing on what you need. It doesn’t have to be huge things, sometimes all it takes is for the slightest change to make the biggest difference.
Here’s to your happiness.
We need more encouragement not reminders of the failures!
“It is said that over 80% of small business start ups fail in the first year!”
I am thoroughly fed up with everyone using this same line.
It is said by whom? For the life of me I have not found where these people get their information from. Is this supposed to encourage people to start businesses? Don’t you feel sorry for the poor budding entrepreneur?
In America, most serious entrepreneurs have had one or two failed business in their past, they see them as steps in the right direction towards getting the big one.
Sadly, this entrepreneurial spirit is looked down upon in this country; we would see them as “too big a risk”, in reality, the experience that they’ll have gained will have taught them not to make the same mistakes again. I would call them a “better bet”!
I am a “glass half full character”; a believer in positive thinking and I say, “if you believe it will happen and if you can see yourself in that picture, then you will be successful”.
I have heard people say to me, “It didn’t work because I’m just unlucky!”
I say there is no such thing as luck! A successful business person is someone who’ll go that bit further than others by doing the things that others don’t like to do and to keep doing it until it becomes second nature to them. So if you want to sell those widgets get on that phone and “smile and dial”.
D5 Creation