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Should we dress down to stay safe ?
I am a businesswoman and always dress smartly in business skirt suits and heels I sometimes at night feel a little overdressed especially while commuting from work, and for the most part I receive admiring glances from my fellow travellers of both sexes. However a month or so back I got some very unwanted attention. Shortly after exiting the station I became aware of two youths following me, I had noticed them staring at me on the train but thought little of it but now on the street which was empty seeing them behind me unnerved me, they closed up on me, firmly clutching my handbag I quickened my pace a little but the pencil skirt and heels made running out of the question, besides I still could not be sure of their intentions. It soon became clear, the two thugs started to run up behind me, easily catching me, I screamed, one of them grabbed me from behind and clamped his hand over my mouth, the other began punching me I was terrified, they continued their brutal attack punching and kicking me to the ground, ripping of my watch and jewellery laughing as they did so I think they were on drugs. They finally left me with a parting kick to my stomach and grabbing up my handbag ran off into the night. I am convinced they assaulted me because I looked wealthy in my suit plus they knew that it would be impossible for me to get away. Are there any other members who have had a similar experience or just felt vulnerable when well dressed.
First impressions by one person of another are often the most important, and can be critical in executive business deals. Research has shown that when we first meet one another, there is a subconscious way that our brains and eyes interact with the other person:
Your eyes scan from their eyes, to their nose and then to their mouth. From there on the scan (for most of us) opens to the rest of their face and then the person.
Is your first impression a good one..?
Probably, if you have a stunning smile with fantastic teeth. But, if you have stained teeth, large chips in your teeth, or missing front teeth, these will be used to construct that first impression which people store in their memory and use whenever they think of you…
Large metallic fillings can discolour and internally stain your surrounding tooth structure. Crooked teeth immediately stand out from the crowd. Missing teeth and poorly designed crowns can create black areas in your mouth. Current research shows that people equate ugly teeth with lower intelligence…
Dr Teresa Day is the clinical director and founder of Appledore Dental Clinics http://cosmeticdentistbracknell.co.uk/index.php/home-dentist-binfield-bracknell
your income tax, painting the bedroom. Pick one, finish it;
pick another, finish it.
2. Set goals for each day. Have a plan. What time you get
up, where you go, what you do. You’ve got 24 hours. Schedule
it. Protect it. Commit to some particular goals for that day
and say No to all other distractions.
3. Organize your day. Watch for distractions. I love to
write, but I love to do so many other interesting things too
- read a good book, work in the garden, talk to my friends,
play with the kids. But it’s important to stay focused on
what’s most important at any particular time.
4. Take charge of your time. Time is the great equalizer. No
matter how smart, how young, how pretty, how rich, every
person has only 24 hours a day to use to his advantage.
Consciously choose what time you get up, how far you drive
to work. Choose what time you go to bed, how you spend your
mornings, how you spend your evenings.
5. Practice maintenance on your life. Regularly check for
problems and see what needs to be tended to BEFORE it
becomes a big problem.
6. Be consistent. Break the goal down into 15 minute tasks.
For example, if your closet has clothes from 1987 in it,
just spend 15 minutes a day (schedule it!) going through it
until it’s organized. At the end of the month, you’ll have
created 7-1/2 hours of work -one whole *free* Saturday!
7. Stop Worrying, Start Doing. Choose to make better
choices. You are currently choosing to worry for days
(months?) about a job that would take you only a few hours.
You are capable of choosing better. Choose to take action,
or delegate the action to someone else.
Professional Life Coach Kathy Gates is the author of several e-books and e-courses designed to help people live happier, healthier, easier lives. Sign up for her ezine, "Make It Happen" at www.reallifecoach.com.
It goes something like this. “Whoa! How the heck did I end up here? This is NOT the life I wanted. Help! I don’t know what to do about it. Is it too late to change course?”
ReLaunching Your Life is all about charting a new course and creating the life you were meant to live. For a lot of women that means finding ways to be their own boss by turning their interests into income. For many, it means finding more freedom, more joy, more abundance in their lives.
The thing is, ReLaunching goes much deeper than creating your own business doing what you love. It means taking strategic steps to reshape your life so you’re in control. So you love your life again. So you are moving in the direction you want. It means you have to hold yourself accountable for doing what it takes to have the life you truly want.
What’s the BIGGEST obstacle to successfully ReLaunching Your Life? It’s the F-word. (No, not that one!) It’s F-E-A-R. And as I’ve said many times before FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.
What’s your FEAR? Failure? Rejection? Not making enough money? Boredom? Embarrassment? Maybe it’s all of these, maybe it’s something else. Are your fears reality-based or are you letting the Big Fat Bully in Your Brain convince you that you CAN’T do what you want? It’s time for a quick fact-check about those fears. If they aren’t based in reality (and believe me, most of them aren’t), it’s time to do something about them.
You CAN control your thoughts — yes, you can. If you allow fearful, negative thinking to hang around too long, you’ll become fearful and negative in your outlook. It will color everything you do. It will stop you in your tracks. Keep you from your dreams.
But, if you make a conscious effort and reframe those negative thoughts into positive affirmations, you can re-program your subconscious to find the positive in each situation. It takes consistent practice, especially if you’ve been living in fear and negativity for quite a while. Try it yourself, not just for a day or two but for at least 30 days. Consistently. Every day. Eventually a positive outlook and an “I CAN do this” attitude becomes second nature. What a difference this will make in your life!
Here are a few more ReLaunch 101 tips:
• Course corrections are not only OK, they’re essential throughout your life. Don’t be afraid to make them when necessary.
• Build on your strengths, talents, passions, and gifts instead of always trying to “fix” your weaknesses. ReLaunching can be scary sometimes, especially if you stay focused on what’s “wrong” instead of building on what’s right.
• Maintain the faith and belief that you can achieve your goals through preparation, consistent action, and persistence. In other words, don’t give up so easily!
• Find a support group or a partner who will hold you accountable for taking small steps every day toward your goals.
• Get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise to keep yourself fit. If you’re not feeling healthy and energetic, it’s hard to move ahead.
Bonnie Pond is a career change expert. She helps women over 40 who want to be their own boss find ways to turn their interests into income. Her goal is to help every woman love her work, love her money, and love her life again. Visit Bonnie’s web site at www.relaunchyourlifecoach.com. While you’re there, sign up to receive her FREE weekly newsletter. Tune in to her Blog Talk Radio program every Monday morning at 10 AM (CST), www.blogtalkradio.com/relaunchyourlife.
As a style consultant, the first question I ask my clients is this “Fashion or Style; which word best describes you” and typical responses to my question are “Sorry what’s the difference?” or “Aren’t they one and the same?” To which I then have to give a mini session on the difference. To me they are two distinct words with different meanings. I totally agree with the great Yves Saint Laurent’s statement that “Fashion fades but style is eternal” well not so much eternal as lasts a lifetime.
In my bid to put this matter to rest, here is my attempt (which is what it is) at differentiating between the two.
Fashion is about the clothes and apparel we wear as determined by the current trends and cycles of popular culture or the fashion world of designers, buyers, magazines and trendsetters. Style on the other hand is about the wearer. Style is about using the current (or past) fashion in a way that engages your personal identity to reflect a distinct, individual and authentic look or expression. So in a sense, fashion is about the clothes and Style is about YOU.
My favourite phrases to my clients to help simplify the matter are “Fashion is about letting others decide, but style is about setting your own trends” or “ Fashion involves choosing someone else’s creativity whilst style involves cultivating your own creativity and expression” and this always does the trick.
So here’s a thought “It is much easier to be fashionable than it is to be stylish” and another thought “A person who has style is one who is self aware, self accepting and whose confidence comes from within and not in the clothes they wear.” A lot of people hold the view that having a sense of style is a like a gift, you either have it or you don’t and every time I work with a new client I am convinced otherwise. Once we are able to let go of being afraid to be different and embark on the journey of discovering our individuality, we can then begin to unleash our own personal and authentic style.
Just to make sure that my client really understands the difference as it is crucial to underpinning the rest of the session (plus it is loads of fun) I would ask them to name a few celebrities who they would deem stylish. A few names are standard and pop up every time; Kate Moss, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alexa Chung, Vivienne Westwood, Grace Kelly. Over the last few months I noticed a new name was added to top stylish women’s category; the one and only Rebecca Ferguson! Not only has her voice won the hearts of many but her great sense of style has left a lasting impression. I have found differing opinions regarding which camp to place certain celebrities like Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole. Some might say that Victoria has earned the rights to be labelled stylish because of her new found status as a designer. With regards to Cheryl some clients argue that as much as she is fashionable and beautiful, she does not qualify as someone with a strong sense of style. On one occasion a client mentioned Lady Gaga as stylish to which the silent response in my mind was “Hell no!!”, but upon reflection she does have her own wild and wacky expression which some may deem as style or perhaps madness. You decide…
By Oby Bamidele
“Stylist with a twist” www.stylenshine.co.uk
Style n Shine Consultancy will help you discover the beauty of your Individuality by unleashing your inner authentic style.
This is the first summer in over 16 years that we have not gone to France. It’s not that we didn’t want to, but it is also the first time in 20 plus years that my husband, Jean, has limited vacation time as a result of taking a new position in which they ONLY give 2 weeks per year. Forget health care, it is a crime that at age 50 plus you are relegated to 2 weeks vacation!
Okay, I have to admit we snuck in a week unpaid earlier this year to tie us over, but still, vacation time is almost more important than health care– after all it does keep us healthier.
As entrepreneurs you finally have the ability, right, and duty to take and give more than two weeks vacation a year. Actually I personally have adopted the French standard of 37 days a year of a little over 7 weeks. I follow my daughter’s schedule (who attends a French school) of one to two weeks vacation each season and three weeks in the summer. By taking a break, a vacation, a respite each quarter you are able to recharge your batteries, give yourself time to think, and remember why you wanted to be an entrepreneur in the first place. Each of these vacations doesn’t have to be elaborate or exotic, but different enough to get you away to relax and rejuvenate or spend time visiting family. (Family visits counts as “family visits”, not vacation).
Expedia analyzed the vacation habits of different countries and compared the U.S. with an average of 14 days vacation with European countries ranging from 26-37 days per year. Yes, the U.S. is the leader in productivity, but France, the #2 leader in productivity, seems to be doing this with the 35-hour work week and 37 days of vacation per year.
Americans, even with the 14 days a year, rarely take all of them and rarely take more than one week vacation at a time. Why? They are too busy with work. With downsizing and layoffs this is even getting worse. “If I’m not productive” is the thought, “I could be layed off”.
As an entrepreneur who wants a lifestyle too, start now and set a precedent for you and your employees’ vacation policy. Based on a survey by Hudson Employment Organization, 29% of entrepreneurs check in daily while on vacation and 24% of them come back more stressed. Checking in everyday is not a vacation!
So here I am to say, that if you truly want to be an Entrepreneur who lives a good life, take your vacation, give vacation, and enjoy your vacation. There has never been a report of someone returning from a vacation, burnt out, stressed, and less productive. In fact, it will most likely be the opposite.
Six Reasons you and your employees should take your vacation throughout the year.
- Avoid burnout, mistakes, resentment and lower productivity. This is not a sprint you are running, but a marathon. Vacations are like water, you have to rehydrate yourself to keep going.
- The two weeks before you go on vacation, you tend to get more organized, work smarter, and finish key priorities. It’s a natural way to focus on what is important.
- Give your family time with you when you are focused on enjoying them and yourself and not on work. In return, they will be there to support you for the long haul.
- A change of place and pace is good for the brain, the soul, and the creative side of your business. Experts report that a key ingredient to reaching new heights is a change of venue and shutting down for extended periods of time. Business Week May 21, 2007.
- New ideas, new inspiration, new thoughts are often found while on vacation.
- Remember why you are an entrepreneur in the first place and why your overall purpose in life is about.
“Tout est question d’equilbre” It is a question of balance. – Mireille Guiliano (1946-) French American Author
If there is one thing I’ve learned in France, it is never to eat walking down the street. The frowns, the fingers pointing, and the embarrassment are too much. Even emporter (take-out) dictates that you find a park, a bench, or a table to eat at, no walking, driving, and eating on the go.
What we’ve learned from the French obsession with food, mealtime, and good health are the following:
- Never eat while walking, driving, or sitting at the computer. Sit down and enjoy your food. It’s good for the health. You get to actually taste it and it makes you realize you are eating.
- Bon apetite — Sit down at the table to eat with your family or friends as often as possible. Light the candles and enjoy the conversation and the food.
- Drink black coffee, good tasting espresso to be exact. Non-fat milk is hard to come by and ruins the taste of a good cup of coffee. In France I do as the French, but give me a Starbucks and I order my small non-fat latte in a mug or emporter.
- Breakfast is small, lunch is medium or large, and dinner is the opposite of lunch. All of it is eaten sitting down with a china plate and tablecloth. Treat yourself by eating off pottery–not paper. It is good for you and good for the planet.
- Eat healthy and well at home and when you go out (maybe once a week) live it up with desert and wine.
- Buy fresh produce from the farmers’ market and use seasonal food. Seasonal vegetables and fruits get cheaper and cheaper as the season comes to a close. Stock up and use readily, freezing the leftovers.
- Try new recipes with seasonal food. If it is fresh, it becomes fun.
- Walk after dinner. Walk on Sunday. Walk whenever you can.
- Don’t take things so seriously–Ce’nest pas grave.
- Go slow and enjoy sitting in a cafe’.
- Drink lots of red wine (cheaper than a soft drink).
- Drink lots of water. Watch the frites. If you are anything like me, ask for the French fries to be replaced with salad. I just can’t resist.
- Sundays are for family day, for getting out in nature, and for relaxation. With all the stores closed on Sunday in France, it becomes easy to make the day a healthy, fun, slow day.
- Have people over for Sunday lunch under the trees or on the terrace whenever the weather permits. Take a walk afterwards, no matter what the weather permits.
- Share a desert and use the three bite rule. The first bite is delectable, the second bite is a must, and the third bite satisfies the palate.
- Find the funny things in life all around you. Whether it is something you heard from your child or grandchild, something you saw, or something you did. Enjoy sharing stories and anecdotes and laugh about them. Sharing stories and laughter are a great way to keep us healthy and joyful.
Summer is nearly here. I bet you are looking forward to doing some fun things with the kids. I’m sure you want to make it a memorable summer for them.
It’s difficult to choose family holidays as it’s important to make sure everyone’s tastes are catered for.
And the cost, it soon mounts up doesn’t it!
It doesn’t matter where you take them, it could be foreign climes or one of the great holiday parks in the UK, but you must make sure your destination is right for all the family and there are always lots of things to do for all ages.
I’d take so much trouble to organise everything I’d try to find ways to make these family times stand out so that when my kids are grown up they would have great stories to tell their children.
A good way is to compile an “End of Summer List”.
I’d get my kids to write down all the places they had visited, activities they’d accomplished and people they had met. Once it was finished we would put it up on our fridge where we could see it. What a great reminder of how much they had done over the summer!
Encourage your children to compile a list. They could even start now and add to it over the rest of the summer.
However you choose to go about it, it will be a growing point for your child to see what a fantastic summer they’ve had. By summer’s end, hopefully, your child will have a long list to smile at. You can smile right along with them knowing you have all had a great time.
Once winter comes they can then have fun sticking it all into a scrap book – something they will be able to keep and look at in years to come when they want a bit of nostalgia or perhaps for ideas of where to take their kids!
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Wayne Dyer (1940-) Self-Help Advocate, teacher and author.
Human nature tells us to keep on pushing on; run faster, do more, never give up, keep going, push, and push some more. One day you wake up and realize that the more you push the worse it gets. The paradox is that the harder we push the more resistance we encounter. We all know the definition of insanity is “to keep on doing the same thing, expecting a different result.
If life overall or part of your life is not working, take the time to stop and assess if it is time to do something different. It is time to stop pretending, stop pushing, and stop trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. Once you stop and analyze the situation you will realize there are many options available to you and at least one of them is worth a try.
Either alone or with a partner, family member, friend or professional, write, discuss, and share what is no longer working. Following are some questions to talk about:
1. Identify what is no longer working for you (and your family or partner).
- What about your life is no longer working? Is it a part of your life or the whole package?
- What about your life is working well?
- What is it you want to stop doing/do more of/ less of/differently?
In our journey we soon came to the realization that being older parents of a newborn with two full-time professional all consuming careers and high expenses we had accumulated to make our life work, was leading to depression, unhappiness, and exhaustion.
What was working was our love for each other and sense of adventure. We felt a passion for doing something new and had the courage to take a risk.
2. Get clear on what you dream of doing differently
- What is missing in your life that you want to create?
- What are you fed-up or done with?
- How would you know you have achieved the dream you want? How would you measure success?
- Will the choice move you towards creating the life you want to live or keep you stuck in the past?
- Will the choice bring you long term gratification or just short term satisfaction?
- Is the dream something you should do and something that empowers you?
- What is calling you?
After a great deal of soul searching, we became clear that we wanted to take time of and live in a different culture, travel the world and experience a simpler life together as a family. Beyond that, we weren’t sure what we wanted to do.
3. Giving up fears, limiting beliefs and shoulds.
- What fears are you going to have to walk through to create what you want? Are you willing?
- What limiting beliefs are you going to have to change or manage to make a shift happen?
- What “shoulds” will you have to eliminate in your thinking? Are you willing to replace them with your dreams and desires?
Many fears popped up for one of us as we made plans; fear of not having money, not having work, and leaving what we knew. Every time they surfaced we dealt with them and put them in their place. They were simply fears that needed to be dealt with to move forward in life.
Learn about what it takes to make changes in your life.
Read books, listen to audio recordings and watch motivational programs that will inspire you on your journey. Surround yourself with supporters and eliminate the negative ones.
A couple of our favorite books and CDs are:
- Your Heart’s Desire, Using the laws of Manifestation to Create the Life you Really Want, by Sonia Choquette – a sixth sensory look at how to create what you want in life.
- Transitions, by William Bridges. A small classic on what happens as you go through a transition.
- Personal Power and Awakening the Giant by Tony Robbins. We have listened to the Personal Power CDs over and over again.
Suzanne Saxe-Roux, Ed.D.
Building leaders and profitable businesses while living balanced lives. Certified Executive Coach, Author and Speaker, Consultant, and Facilitator.
When I am traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep; it is on such occasions that ideas flow best and most abundantly.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791)
Prolific Classical composer .
Like the circles or round-abouts in France, life often feels like we are going around-and-around in circles. Take a hint from the round-abouts and when needed, spin-off into another direction and take a break.
Ideas on spinning off:
- Take a break from your routine and do something, anything completely different.
- Drive a new route to work or school and enjoy the different scene.
- Have a picnic dinner on the living room floor, red wine and all.
- Change your type or place of exercise. Instead of yoga, go out for a walk. Instead of a running, go swimming. Instead of having coffee with an old friend, invite a new one.
- Listen to a different type of music or watch a program or movie you would never normally see.
- Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while or better yet, write a letter on paper and mail it.
- Take a day off from technology and turn off the cell phone, computer, IPod, and PDA. Notice how being unplugged makes you feel.
- Pretend you are on an exotic island and make a Pina Colada.
- Do something spontaneous and different; go to a museum, a comedy show, or an art gallery.
Spin-off’s are often free, easy, fun, and make you smile.
Many of us have witnessed little children who almost always want things now! Funny thing is that as adults our attitudes as it relates to this haven’t changed much. We still want it our way or the highway, and now!
We want our small business to grow large, now. We want the job promotion, now. We want our tiny children to grow-up, now. We even have the urge to tell the boss off, now.
It would do us good to become cognizant of the importance of time. Did you know that over 20 times in eight verses the wisest man that ever lived instruct’s us of the appropriate “timings” in which to: speak, be silent, laugh, mourn, to build, as well as to restructure, or to tear-down?
Though she desired it to be much earlier, you may recall Sarah, though 90-year’s old birthed her infant baby Isaac, at the perfect (set) time.
I want to admonish you that life, what we want, and when we want it involves “the process of important and divine timing.” In your lust to “want it now,” strive to become sensitive and keenly aware as to what time it is.
Ref.: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Linda Johnson Belfrey has 14-years of radio experience working in faith-based broadcast ministry including, JFM LIVE, www.jfmlive.com. Additional media ministries include her cable market telecast, Reaching a People, by Any Means Necessary and A Word for You print news media inspirationals.
Email inquires to: Johnsonbelfrey@aol.com
This blogger is on Twitter at: twitter.com/ljohnsonbelfrey
I agreed to go mountain biking this morning on a course the woman defined as ‘easy.’ I fell behind in the sand traps but knew the shortcut that would help me catch up. When I finally spotted the group, they were heading up a steep hill.
I decided to find my own ‘easy’ trail that would be much more enjoyable on this glorious Arizona Sunday in January.
What is easy to one person if often difficult for the next. I am physically fit but not race-ready. I like a good challenge but I know my limits.
This made me wonder how many times I expect others to meet my standard of ‘easy’ and if I judge their effort when they decline riding up my hill.
I don’t know if anyone judged me for taking another path. The day was so beautiful it was easy for me to let go of worrying about what they thought of me. Would I do the same if someone asked me to do something difficult and unpleasant at work? Do I say ‘no’ with ease and grace when it comes to a mental challenge?
What about you? Do you hold others to your standards without considering their needs and talents? Do you take on undesirable jobs then resent others for putting you up to the task?
Awareness is the first long step toward change. Life can be easier if we become more conscious about our choices and our judgments.
It’s getting wintery and cold out there, so it’s time to hit the lemon and ginger!
A tea made from fresh lemon and fresh ginger root is an age-old winter remedy. Ginger is a warming herb, so drinking it warms you from within. Fresh ginger root also detoxifies the body, making it an excellent drink for the morning-after-the-night-before!
Lemons and ginger are jam-packed with antioxidants, which improve immune function, and, with a little honey to taste, the tea is a tonic, building and strengthening your body.
Lemon and fresh ginger tea treats colds and flu and is a great one to drink if you are simply feeling a little rough.
Just what you need to be well this winter!
Note that I’m talking about fresh ginger here, not dried: the tastes and properties are very different.
The recipe is simple
For a large 3-4 cup teapot:
Squeeze the juice of two lemons into the pot, then throw in the skins too (you don’t want to miss all the antioxidants in the skin and pith). Grate a thumb-sized piece of ginger root using the fine grater and add to the pot. Don’t worry about peeling it, the bits will all be sieved out on serving. Fill with boiling water, put the lid on and leave to infuse for about 15 minutes – or until a drinkable temperature. Strain through a sieve if necessary and drink by the bucket-load!
Sara Southgate BSc. (Comb Hons), ND, Dip Herb, MURHP
There is a restaurant in London called Hoxton Apprentice.
It is set in a fabulous old Victorian school house on Hoxton Square.
I was invited by the proprietor, Val Corbett, to attend a ladies lunch in aid of raising money to help their training program.
You see Hoxton Apprentice is no ordinary restaurant, they train and employ the young, long term un-employed.
You can read their full story on their website: http://www.hoxtonapprentice.com/
What a fantastic lady; it was a great lunch too!
A story about one lucky protege:
Suleyman was a refugee from Turkey who could not speak English when he came to the Hoxton Apprentice. Today he is a qualified chef – with good (sometimes spicy) English – who was head hunted by Raymond Blanc and worked in his restaurant. But as they spoke French he decided that was one step too far! So he came back and now works as one our two main chefs. From being a long-term unemployed on benefit he earns a good salary, has married and is a fully functioning member of society.